Very Short Stories
#vss365
Late last year, I stumbled onto someone’s Twitter profile and saw an array of tweets with the hashtag #vss365, many of them tweet-length stories or poems. ‘VSS’ obviously stood for ‘very short story’, but I was confused about how the hashtag worked. Several nice people explained that all I needed to do was search the hashtag, filter the results by ‘latest’, then scan down to see what the prompt was (which is usually made easier due to people making the word of the day a hashtag, too).
I decided this was a very nice thing to do, and I commenced my #vss365 journey on January 1st. The first word was baffling, as I’d never heard ‘verklempt’ before (unsurprising, since it’s a North American slang word) and it was difficult to get a sense of how to use it, but the rest have been fine . . . except that they all began with the letter V. As of tomorrow, there’ll be a different letter, which I hope isn’t going to move us onwards towards the limitations of X and Z.
Having a mini daily creative practice is fun and rewarding. Sure, by the time I was writing my story on the 6th, there was an attempted coup occurring and my micro-fiction seemed utterly irrelevant; plus, most of my attempts rely on bathos or a twist; but I’m enjoying putting a small piece of fiction out into the void every day. Let me know if you join in!
Here are my first fifteen micro-stories:
1. Verklempt
Marion had seen Harold across the street that morning, looking so verklempt she didn’t even dare wave. The village gossip finally reached her in the Post Office. “In tears he was at the miracle of it. Four perfect kittens mewling. He hadn’t even known she was expecting.”
2. Velociraptor
"Well," sniffed Jane, "it's what he would have wanted."
"To be battered to death by you, his wife and digging partner?" barked the QC.
"Clive did the battering," said Vanessa, to intakes of breath. "But I stabbed him up the nose with his favourite velociraptor claw."
3. Vampire
The witnesses left. Jacob chuckled into his beard. Moira, that leech, would be stunned. Philip, the vampire, would be gobsmacked. Jacob's only regret was that he wouldn't be there to watch when they found out the entire estate had been bequeathed to the cats' shelter.
4. Vulture
It’s a skill, knowing who’s going to die, & when, & sometimes even why. It’s the difference between a morsel at a huge family buffet or a romantic meal for two. If I were human I’d be hailed as the greatest medic there’s ever been. But no, I’m just a #vulture. Philistines.
5. Vex
Of course, everyone knew how easy it was to vex him, but when he appeared on every news channel, superglued to the Downing Street railings, garbed in only boxers and socks, wearing a placard that read WHITE MEN MATTER, seemingly in response to just a few tweets... Well.
6. Vendetta
Was it a #vendetta when the perpetrator's only aim was to cling to power, and the bitter campaign against someone else was just a by-product of that bloated, putrid arrogance? She didn't really care: there was an attempted coup and there was scrolling to be done.
7. Violated
Arnold’s screams were as ear-splitting as the sirens. ‘Malorie, he’s back! The outer boundary has been violated! Weapon up!’ Malorie sighed and reached for the preloaded super-soaker, but it was too late: George the Tom had been, defecated, taken Lulu’s food, and gone.
8. Venn Diagram
Marion scrutinised the Venn diagram and sighed. She took off her glasses and massaged her forehead. It was no use. She’d failed. No matter how hard she worked at it, she’d never be able to create something as memeworthy as the “Put your hands up!” classic.
9. Ventriloquist
Tremoring, Elias held the letter in front of Ignatius's fixed eyes. The wooden jaw dropped open. "They're banning us!"
"Yes," sobbed Elias. "I broke the ventriloquist code by trying to make you less creepy."
Ignatius shook his head sadly. "And you didn't even succeed."
10. Vandalism
It would, she knew, be dismissed as a mere act of #vandalism. But it was significantly more than that. It was about respect, territory, sovereignty. And so, with one elegant swoosh of her tail, the whole host of china ornaments were ejected from her mantelpiece.
11. Vellum
When he'd asked her if she'd like to come up and see his antiquarian books, she'd assumed it was a euphemism, yet the dozens of haggard tomes didn't put her off. No, it was the strange glint in his eye and the way he whispered "fresh vellum" that made her grab her coat.
12. Valour
Brian had been found amongst the wreckage, the sole survivor, and now he was here, being awarded yet another medal. Only he knew that the genuine reason for his miraculous survival involved neither discretion nor valour, but a fortunately timed trip to the toilet.
13. Vicariously
Those who’d lived through it spoke of times when the parameters of life were so narrow that they could only gain enjoyment vicariously: through books, perhaps; or singing contests on TV with costumed celebrities; or choirs singing sea shanties, distanced by time & space.
14. Vocabulary
Isla and Stuart looked at each other, both a little unsure. Then Isla gave him a limited tour of his new home, while they began to learn the vocabulary of each other’s tone, movement, expression: her lilting voice, his tail wags; her dimpled smiles, his toothy grins.
15. Vagina / Vacate*
It was the boring, repeated derogatory synonyms of 'vagina' that finally did it. The group of boys had been Ella's closest friends since infant school, but now, aged 12, she was making plans to vacate a fundamental part of her childhood, and she was sad, scared, & angry.
*The designated prompt-setter originally chose “vagina”, but due to some consternation, I gather that the powers of #vss365 decided that “vacate” should be used instead, because (and I admit I’ve only seen this mentioned second-hand, “vagina” is slang. Of course, it isn’t, but ‘verklempt’ definitely is, so the decision is a controversial one, with many #vss365-ers using their micro-stories to talk about censorship. Cripes.
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